您守靜還算順利嗎?

您守靜還算順利嗎？

斯瓦米韋達

譯者：石宏

 

 

很多的朋友和學生從世界各地來信問我，「斯瓦米吉，您守靜還順利嗎？」我很想反問，「你講話還順利嗎？」

 

大多數人發的誓願不是五年，而是要講一輩子的話。對很多人而言，靜默不是件那麼自然的事。對別人而言，如果他們是在追求真理和寧靜，那麼靜默是我們本來的自然狀態，我們都是從那裡冒出來，又終將沒入其中。在我們向外追逐聲色的感官作用底層，有一股連綿不絕的寧靜之流。我們之中，有的人選擇浸浴於那股溪流內。

 

我立誓願作五年的守靜，有人視為「英勇」之舉，甚至認為是種大大的自虐行為！其實，這是件樂事，是我選擇縱容自己。

 

是的，如果你在問我縱容自己去享樂這件事，目前非常順利，但是我還沒有能夠完成我原本想要藉它來完成的事。我原來希望能夠辭去一切有關我們協會的行政庶務。有少數領導幹事的確在某些方面在某種程度上能接下我的工作，但是還不夠全面，每天還是有上百件電郵，都等著我處理。學院的事也一樣。雖然我還能顧到把自己對這些事務的想法和建議寫下來，可我寧願寫的是自己沈思默想之際得來的吠陀詩句。

 

有件讓我感到不悅的事，就是有人在我面前講話。我要完全靜默，但是周圍的人依舊喋喋不休，儘管我已經心識內斂他們卻無所知覺我需要獨處。

 

有的時候我也會開口，僅限於（a）給予靜坐導引或是在非常例外情形下為人啟引，以及（b）為八歲以下的孩子祝福。我發現，在靜默時擁抱孩子是個殊勝的經驗，它也能增益和增強我的守靜。要心靈靜默，去擁抱孩子就是最好的學習方式。

 

靜默有助於多方保留元氣。它對於這個80年的老舊身軀有所助益，在我為人導引靜坐或是為人啟引時，能量就自然顯現。這都是因為我的上師教過我要如何攝取化受能量，而不是把它耗費於聊天講話和無意義的活動上。與其把它耗在表達上面，我寧可內斂，它能帶來微妙的喜樂和寧靜。

 

有人問我，你怎麼會有要做五年守靜的念頭？它在我大概六歲的時候就有了。一回我父親帶著我，在我出生地的德拉敦市散步。我們在朝著上山的路上行進，對面走來的是我們的鄰居一位名叫法天的學士。我們一家當時住在一所學院中，他是那裡教授哲學。其後他在聖雄甘地的領導下創辦了一間修道院專門收容痲瘋患者（這是我另一個心願，一直到後來成立了KHEL痲瘋病患兒童之家才得以實現）。

 

他正往山下來，伴隨著一位神彩奕奕身穿絳紅袍子的斯瓦米僧人。法天學士知道我父親向來對瑜伽大師著迷，就為我們引見這位斯瓦米，說見到他坐在路邊，就與他同行。我們得知這位斯瓦米過去25年在山中修行，沒有說過一個字。我記不起他的名號。這個故事還有下文，不過這裡就此打住。那是我第一個心願。我當時就明白到，這是我發願要做到的事，有一天我會立誓守靜25年。我的心願至今仍未實現。

 

那次以後，我陸續遇見幾位靜默的斯瓦米，每一位都留下了一粒啓示的星火，加強了我的願力。有位名叫月光的斯瓦米是我的朋友，他的山麓道院位於雅姆那江流域的多媚村內，他已經有27年沒說過一個字。我常常送人去探訪他的道院。

 

大多數人不會明白，一位已經心識內斂的人，要他打斷內斂，把注意力調轉向外來處理世俗事務，是件多麼困難和不自然的事。

 

我明明知道這五年終會結束，可是我又多麼希望結束永不到來。138天已經過了，何其之快。當五年也過了，再開口說話將會十分痛苦，需要很大的意志力才行。

 

我祝願全天下的人都能學會進入那至深邃所在，那即是靜默。

 

 

───

以下為英文原文

 

 

HOW IS YOUR SILENCE GOING?

Swami Veda Bharati

 

 

Many of my friends and initiates in all continents write me asking, “Swamiji, how is your silence going?”  I am tempted to answer, “How is your talking going?”

 

Majority have a not five-year but life-long vow of talking. To many, silence is something not so natural. To others, seekers after truth and serenity, silence is the nature from which we have emerged and into which we will dissolve. Through all our externalised sense operations, an inner substratum of a silent stream continues to flow. Some of us have chosen to take a dip into that stream.

 

Some treat my five year vow as  ‘heroic’ or something I have done; perhaps an act of tremendous self-denial! The fact is that I have chosen to indulge into this pleasure.

 

Yes, my indulgence in this pleasure is going very well but it is not accomplishing all that I had meant to accomplish through it. My hope was to be free of all involvements in matters of the organization and the Ashram. Few leaders have taken over certain areas of these and freed me to a certain extent, but not yet fully, and there are still hundred e-mails a day, all needing attention. So also matters relating to the Ashram. I manage to give thoughts and suggestions in writing but I would rather write my Vedic poetry instead that flows in moments of silent contemplations.

 

One thing I find unpleasant is anyone talking in my presence. I want total silence but people around me go on chattering and do not always even realize when I am inwardly tuned and my solitude needs to be accepted.

 

I do speak sometimes (a) giving guided meditation or initiation to a very select rare few and (b) in blessing children under 8. I find hugging a child a great experience in silence and it enriches me and enhances my silence. There is no better lesson in mind’s silence than hugging a child.

 

Silence has helped conserve the shakti in many ways. It has helped improve the physical strength of this 80 years old body and when I do give the rare initiations and guided meditations, the energy manifests itself. This is because my Guru has taught me how to absorb the shakti and assimilate it and not waste it all the time in talking, chattering and idle pursuits. Instead of ex-pressing, I have chosen to im-press this energy into myself and it grants a subtle joy and serenity.

 

Swamiji, how did this idea of a five year silence come to you?—people ask. It came when I was perhaps six years old. My father and I had gone for an evening walk on Rajpur Road in Dehradun where I was born. We were going uphill. From the opposite side was walking down our neighbour Pandit Dharmadeva Shastri, a philosophy teacher at the Gurukula where we lived. Later he established one of the most important relief Ashrams for lepers under Gandhiji’s guidance (another inspiration that remained waiting to be realized until KHEL was established).

 

He, coming downhill,  was accompanied by a Swami in saffron robes with a brilliantly shining face. Pandit Dharmadeva knew of my father’s interest in yogis. He introduced us to the Swami and told us that he met him sitting by the roadside. He was a silent swami  and had not spoken a word for 25 years while living in the mountains doing sadhana. I cannot remember his name. There is more to this story but here this much suffices. That was my first inspiration. I knew then that it was something to aspire for and that some day I would take a 25 year vow of silence. My ambition remains unfulfilled.

 

Since then I have met a few silent swamis and each one has left a spark of inspiration, strengthening my ambition. My friend Swami Chandra who has an Ashram at the bank of the river Yamuna in Domet village near the mountains has not spoken a word for over 27 years. I often send our ashram members and visitors to visit his Ashram.

 

Majority cannot imagine for those who are inwardly attuned, how difficult and unnatural it is to have  that attunement interrupted and to fulfil the world’s demands that you become outwardly tuned.

 

I wish these five years are never over but I know they will end. 138 days are already gone, too fast.  When five years pass, it will be painful to speak again, a major effort of will.

 

I wish for the people of the whole world to learn to enter the profundity that is silence.