Language Barrier

這是 Rajah 老師轉寄的笑話, 簡單不失原意地翻譯了一下

願大家開懷一笑

也希望大家聽懂了笑話的意思…..

 

 

HOW THE CHINESE STAY PUT IN ITALY

 

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Chinese had to leave Italy . Naturally there was a big uproar from the Chinese community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Chinese community. If the Chinese win, they could stay. If the Pope wins, the Chinese would have to leave.

The Chinese realized that they had no other choice. So they picked an old man named Ah Pek to represent them. 

 As Ah Pek was not conversant in Italian language, he asked for one condition to be added to the debate.

'To be fair', he said, 'neither side would be allowed to talk'.

The Pope agreed.

On the day of the big debate, Ah Pek and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute.

Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
Ah Pek looked back at him and raised one finger.

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head.
Ah Pek pointed to the ground at where he sat.

The Pope pulled out a loaf and a glass of wine.
Ah Pek pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said: 'I give up. This man is too good in religious knowledge. The Chinese can stay.'

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened.

The Pope said,

 

'First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions.

Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us.

I pulled out the wine and loaf to show that God absolves all sin. He showed me an apple to remind us of the original sin.

He had an answer for everything. What could I do??'

Meanwhile, the Chinese community also crowded around Ah Pek and asked him what's happened in the debate.

'Well', said Ah Pek.

 

'First he indicated to me that all Chinese had 3 days to get out of here. I raised my third finger and asked him to f*@k off, and that none of us was leaving.

Then he pointed that this whole city would be cleared of Chinese. I showed him that we are staying right here.'

'Yes, and then???' asked the crowd.

'I don't know', said Ah Pek, 'He took out his lunch, and I took out mine.

 

______________________________________________________________

 

中國人是如何成功留在義大利的

 

約一世紀以前, 當時的教宗決定中國人必須要離開義大利, 這個決定自然在中國人的社區中引發了很大的騷動.

 

教宗因此和中國人約定進行一場宗教辯論, 如果中國人贏了, 就留下了; 如果教宗贏了, 中國人就必須離開

 

中國人知道除此之外別無選擇, 因此就選定了年長的阿伯來代表中國社區

 

由於阿伯不是很懂義大利語,

 

"為了公平起見, " 阿伯說, "辯論期間兩方皆不得說話."

 

教宗同意了

 

辯論當天, 阿伯和教宗面對面坐下, 彼此對看了一分鐘

 

接著教宗舉起手伸出了三根手指頭 ,  阿伯接著舉起手伸出一根手指頭

 

然後教宗用他的手在頭上畫圈圈, 阿伯則用手指著所站的位置

 

之後教宗拿出了一條麵包和一杯酒, 阿伯則掏出了一顆蘋果.

 

教宗突然站起身, 大聲宣佈說

"我放棄了, 這個人的宗教知識太淵博了, 中國人可以留在義大利!!"

 

一小時之後, 樞機主教們群聚教宗身邊, 問他剛剛倒底發生了什麼事

 

教宗回答說

 

"我伸出三根指頭, 代表神聖的三位一體; 他用一根指頭提醒我, 我們的宗教中都只有一位神;

 

然後我用手指環繞我自己, 來表示神在我們四週; 他則用一手指地, 表示神正和我們在一起;

 

最後我拿出麵包和酒, 表示神赦免了所有的罪 ; 他則用一顆蘋果, 提醒我們皆帶有原罪."

 

"這個人什麼都懂, 我又能如何呢?"

 

 

同一個時間, 中國社區的人也群聚阿伯身邊, 問他剛剛辯論時發生了什麼事.

 

阿伯說

 

"他就先比三根指頭說中國人要在三天內滾離義大利, 我就比一根指頭說滾他個大頭, 我們才不走;

 

然後他又比說所有城市裡的中國人都要滾, 我就跟他比說我們留定了, 那裏也不去;"

 

"然後呢?" 所有的中國人急著問道

 

阿伯說

  

"我也不知道... "

 

"他就拿出他的午餐, 我就也把我的午餐掏出來."